R.O.AD (or my Rules Of Advertising)

(R.O.AD #1a) Clients are the worst adulterers. They just can't resist 'sleeping' around. But at least have the decency to tell us.

(R.O.AD #1b) Just tell us you're planning to leave. We don't mind. There are more idiots like you to serve in this world.

(R.O.AD #2) Even hookers get paid. So after you have 'done' us, please leave the money and some 'self-esteem' behind before you leave.

(R.O.AD #3) Don't tell us what we can and can't do. You obviously do not know us.

(R.O.AD #4) Doctors don't go to court and lawyers don't perform operations. Please respect us for what we do. We are not all imbeciles.

(R.O.AD #5) We know our stuff. You know yours. So get the '@#%&' out of our way. You shouldn't do our work. We're not planning to do yours.

(R.O.AD #6a) When it comes to issues that are subjective like photo selection and colors, please trust our Art Directors.

(R.O.AD #6b) They know their stuff. They have that 'talent'. That's why they were hired in the first place.

(R.O.AD #6c) And that's why they are probably paid more than you.

(R.O.AD #7) We're good. That's why we're expensive. So please don't haggle. It makes you look desperate.

(R.O.AD #8) "Sleeping" around could get you the clap or a list of nasty shit. And if we find out, our fees are gonna increase.

(R.O.AD #9) Good advertising is not meant to be 'pretty'. It's just meant to 'work'.

(R.O.AD #10) Do you tell your Dr. what to do?

(R.O.AD #11) Please think of us as human beings with a life before you force that deadline on us.

(R.O.AD #12) Yes, we can help you sort out your problems. But we ain't God. Please don't expect miracles.

(R.O.AD #13) The road to recovery takes time. Meaning, please give your ad campaign time to work. And be reasonable with the budget.

(R.O.AD #14) It is better to shut up and let us think of you as merely an idiot than to open your big gab and proof us right.

(R.O.AD #15) Never bring a knife to a gun fight.